I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with this long-rotten squirrel.

I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than you ever will be

Today I sniffed many dog behinds – I celebrate by kissing your face.

I sound the alarm!
Paper boy-come to kill us all – Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I sound the alarm!
Garbage man-come to kill us all – Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

I lift my leg and whiz on each bush .
Hello, Spot – Sniff this and weep

How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as my hairs on the rug.

My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have made a puddle

I Hate my choke chain – Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

Sleeping here,
my chin on your foot -no greater bliss – well, maybe catching cats

Look in my eyes and deny it.
No human could love you as much I do

The cat is not all Bad-
She fills the litter box with Tootsie Rolls

Dig under fence-why?
Because it’s there. Because it’s there. Because it’s there.

I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially when you are eating.

My owners’ mood is Romantic – I lie near their feet.
I fart a big one.
Life is good.

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