EXCERPTS FROM A CAT’S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre lidangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they werewalking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I onceagain induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to tryto strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan… There was some sort of gathering of theiraccomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am
certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait – It is only a matter of time……

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